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Message to Fajra Merav
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| Orion_Karath | Date: Thursday, 28 Oct 2010, 11:37 PM | Message # 1 |
 Lieutenant
Group: Users
Messages: 71
Status: Offline
| Special Operations Command Outer Forward Operations Base Borosk To: Commander Fajra Merav
Commanding Officer, 13th Stormtrooper Legion
From: Captain Orion Karath
Imperial Army Special Forces
Subject: Politics Ma'am, while now being way above my paygrade, I know not too long ago we were in the same league. If I can impart any wisdom to you from my short, but eventful (and unfortunately mostly classified) time in the service, is this. Stay out of politics, you'll live longer. A little, friendly advice from me to one of the first Birth Born Stormtroopers. Congratulations, Commander Merav, do us all proud.
Major Orion "Reaper" Karath
Imperial Army
Special Actions Group
Hero of the Empire
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| Fajra_Merav | Date: Saturday, 30 Oct 2010, 6:38 AM | Message # 2 |
 Major general
Group: Users
Messages: 258
Status: Offline
| If I wanted to, I could very well be a politician. But my heart belongs to the blood and sand, I'm a duelist, first and foremost. A Lady could not be a Saber Rake, that's just how it was. But my destiny is my own, and I took control of it as I always have. I don't want to be a politician, I just happen to know that my word and opinion means something. At least to me, and that's all that matters. If something were to ever happen to me, trust me, it wouldn't be politics. I'm my own worst enemy, I just hope it's the field of battle that someday claims my life, and not the selfishness of a young woman. Thank you Captain Karath, but if I'm not proud of myself, how can I make anyone else proud? Merav
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| Orion_Karath | Date: Sunday, 16 Jan 2011, 12:04 PM | Message # 3 |
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Lieutenant
Group: Users
Messages: 71
Status: Offline
| [Location Unavailable] To: Commander Fajra Merav
Commanding Officer, 13th Stormtrooper Legion
From: Captain Orion Karath
Imperial Army Special Forces
Subject: RE: Politics My apologies on not responding to you in a timely manner. Unit was deployed, and we spent three months off the grid. Hush Hush stuff, black ops and such. Indeed, your word and opinion does mean something, and indeed, does matter. To be honest, I couldn't make it politics, myself. While I could probably become a politician, as the average person is a sob for the whole 'hero' persona, I'm too loyal, opinionated, and blunt. As for not being proud of yourself, well... I'm not sure I can answer that. To be honest, I am not proud of myself either, or many of the things I have done. Yet there are many that are proud of me, many that aren't. I guess in a galaxy full of questions without answers, you can throw 'how to make someone else proud when you aren't of yourself' up there. I'm confident though, in time, the answer will come.
Major Orion "Reaper" Karath
Imperial Army
Special Actions Group
Hero of the Empire
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| Fajra_Merav | Date: Monday, 17 Jan 2011, 2:54 PM | Message # 4 |
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Major general
Group: Users
Messages: 258
Status: Offline
| To: Captain Orion Karath
Imperial Army Special Forces
From: Commander Fajra Merav
Commanding Officer, 13th Stormtrooper Legion
Subject: Bored No need to apologize. I'm currently stuck on Corulag, hush hush stuff as well. Destabilation has taken an interest in the 13th and that's all I'm going to say about that. I'm just tired of the waiting. If I wanted to wait around, then I'd be in a pod discussing politics. I've had a lot of time to think about things. I never talk about them, but part of me wants to. I write a lot, I think it's the only thing keeping me together. I have a hard time relating. I think a lot of it has to do with..nobody knows what to do with me. I don't have that field experience. I have a lot to prove and a lot to live up to. It doesn't matter if I graduated at the top of my class. I know what people must think of me. What my men think of me. All I can do is just be myself. And hopefully one day, I'll make my men proud. Faj
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| Orion_Karath | Date: Wednesday, 26 Jan 2011, 1:13 PM | Message # 5 |
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Lieutenant
Group: Users
Messages: 71
Status: Offline
| [Location Unavailable] To: Commander Fajra Merav
Commanding Officer, 13th Stormtrooper Legion
From: Captain Orion Karath
Imperial Army Special Forces
Subject: RE: Bored Destab; I've had my own ops with them, and I do not envy your position. I've never understood how they have half of the authority they've been given, almost seems as much as the Inquisitorious at times, and when it comes to military operations, they're like the blind leading the mute. I can understand the pain of waiting, and the boredom that comes with it; seems to be the hardest thing about "peace". Corulag sounds rosy though, compared to where I am. At least most of the citizens there are fanatical Imperials, not the insurgent morons I'm dealing with. Field experience isn't always necessary to be a good soldier, I had a young Sergeant a couple of years ago on a large-scale operation that before he got into Special Forces was Military Intelligence; until Selection he had never fired his rifle with the exception of boot camp. Turned out to be on the best men in my unit and is now an Officer, leading one of our teams. With the Stormtroopers, they'll always respect you as an Officer, and they will follow you into Hell itself without hesitation. You being a "birth-born", more than likely has you more respected than any other among them. We all have a lot to live up to, we all have to be the "ideal Imperial". Some of us more than others, like myself and from the sounds of it you too. We all have something to prove; if we are able to command, if we are where we are supposed to be, if the credits spent on our training was worth it, etc. Being yourself is exactly what you have to do, not worrying about pleasing your superiors or what someone else thinks you should be or do. I've found that if you spend more time just doing your job and being yourself, you ultimately get farther than those that try to please everyone or abuse their connections. You've been put into your position for a reason, and now you just have to act as one in your position must, and remember that. I know what its like to have doubts, but in reality, you have earned your place if you are just yourself and do not have to worry about not being in the place you are supposed to be. I despise how much politics and bureaucracy has seeped into the Imperial military; as its put people unworthy of command into command countless times over. Do what you do and say what you say with the meaning that you mean. That's probably the cheesiest and most nonsensical advice I've ever given anyone, but the solution is there. It's hard not having someone you can honestly talk to, without being judged. It's hard not having a release to handle the stress, emotions, or pressure that comes with our jobs. I know what its like to feel as if all eyes were on you... and as if a hundred or more people were just waiting for one mistake. Although not perfectly, I have an idea of what you are going through, Commander. While I may be a junior officer to you, in a different unit, and with a different MOS; if you ever need an ear to talk to, for any reason, I'm right here.
Major Orion "Reaper" Karath
Imperial Army
Special Actions Group
Hero of the Empire
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| Fajra_Merav | Date: Monday, 09 May 2011, 7:55 AM | Message # 6 |
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Major general
Group: Users
Messages: 258
Status: Offline
| To: Captain Orion Karath
Imperial Army Special Forces
From: Commander Fajra Merav
Commanding Officer, 13th Stormtrooper Legion
Subject: It's been awhile Captain Karath, I'm sure word of Corulag has reached your ears. Doesn't sound rosy anymore does it? I don't even know what to say about it. I wish I was just a nameless victim. I wish even more that it never happened. But it did, and I don't know why. It is easy to blame the Monnok. I want to, but in my heart it doesn't feel right. For now, I have to put it behind me. I have to do it for the Empire, the legion, and for myself. Moving forward, I have made Algarian my first Campaign. So far so...bloody. Anyway, hope you're well.
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| Orion_Karath | Date: Tuesday, 10 May 2011, 12:51 PM | Message # 7 |
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Lieutenant
Group: Users
Messages: 71
Status: Offline
| Special Operations Command Outer Forward Operations Base Borosk To: Commander Fajra Merav
Commanding Officer, 13th Stormtrooper Legion
From: Captain Orion Karath
Imperial Army Special Forces
Subject: Re: It's been awhile Indeed, I had heard the rumors, which more and more sounded truthful. The media, of course, would not report such an event. I understand what you are going through. My younger sister, Cora, was raped while in secondary. You would understand when I said, I made the guy disappear. It is the most horrible thing, in my mind, that could happen to a woman. I would have written you about it when I first heard about it, but I also know you would have needed space to deal with what happened, and a man was probably the last person you would want asking you about it. I can understand something not feeling right about Corulag, because, to reassure you, it doesn't feel right to me, and others. I'm privy to some intel reports, and I've followed the Monnok group ever since your message to them. They aren't armed, or known to have any sort of military wing. Believe me when I say, they couldn't pull it out of their asses. It is definitely something that is being looked into on my end, I assure you. I heard about Algarian yesterday, actually. Rumor has it the 13th captured a Jedi. I've also heard you've been kicking some Sep ass and getting your hands dirty. I respect that immensely; a commander who will serve among their troops or at the head of them, not behind them. It also sounds messy, though. Like you said... bloody. Any fight with the Seps are. Only one battle in my career has been worse than a Sep battle, and that Renatasia. That was a whole other hell though, that is still hard to revisit. It was a challenge, in more ways than the obvious. Back to Algarian, while rumor is apparently reliable lately, I must ask you, how has Algarian gone? I am well, and I hope you are recovering. If you ever need to vent about Corulag more, or talk about Algarian when it's wrapped up, I will always be here, Commander. Stay safe, stay alert... and come home alive.
Major Orion "Reaper" Karath
Imperial Army
Special Actions Group
Hero of the Empire
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| Fajra_Merav | Date: Monday, 28 Nov 2011, 7:33 AM | Message # 8 |
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Major general
Group: Users
Messages: 258
Status: Offline
| To: Captain Orion Karath
Imperial Army Special Forces
From: Commander Fajra Merav
Commanding Officer, 13th Stormtrooper Legion
Subject: Algarian
A long time has passed since you've written. I'm alive, but I haven't come home yet. Algarian is a mess. The rebellion is strong here. We cannot succeed until the droid fascilities have been located and destroyed. I've been detained. Orders from General Adenn. I don't have much more time, but if you get this. I'm okay.
Faj
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| Orion_Karath | Date: Tuesday, 29 Nov 2011, 1:30 PM | Message # 9 |
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Lieutenant
Group: Users
Messages: 71
Status: Offline
| Special Operations Command Core Forward Operations Base Anaxes
To: Commander Fajra Merav
Commanding Officer, 13th Stormtrooper Legion
From: Captain Orion Karath
Imperial Army Special Forces
Subject: Re: Algarian
Encryption: Alpha Green
It has been some time since I wrote, High Command has apparently taken a direct interest in my unit for the time being; I've been running across most of the galaxy for the past few months. They seem to be keeping us close by, too, for some unknown reason. An unfortunate side effect of that is, I can no longer do my intel digging I've done in the past, so I haven't been able to keep as close a watch out for you as I usually can. That... sounded wrong, and I'm going to end that by not speaking of it any more.
I can't even imagine the reasons for you being locked up, especially if the campaign has fallen apart. I do know though, some reinforcements may be on their way to the planet... no idea when Command was thinking of sending them, however, or how large. I get the feeling however, you just want off that rock. I can't blame you. The monsoon seasons, droids, insurgents, an enabling local government... not to mention an alien in command. It's probably best to count yourself lucky to merely be alive. Glad you're okay, and hope you make it home in one piece still. Looks like something's come up, so I'm off to save the day yet again.
Major Orion "Reaper" Karath
Imperial Army
Special Actions Group
Hero of the Empire
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| Fajra_Merav | Date: Wednesday, 30 Nov 2011, 5:51 PM | Message # 10 |
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Major general
Group: Users
Messages: 258
Status: Offline
| To: Captain Orion Karath
Imperial Army Special Forces
From: Commander Fajra Merav
Commanding Officer, 13th Stormtrooper Legion
Subject: Re: Algarian
Encryption: Alpha Green
So it would appear that my Pen-pal is really my guardian angel?
I'm locked up because I'm my own worst enemy. I don't know what I was thinking. It was selfish really. Everything was fine. One moment I was in the refresher, and the next I was on the floor. No matter how hot the water, or how hard I scrubbed...it wasn't enough. Memories of Corulag invaded my thoughts. Something I care not to admit. I don't even know why I'm telling you this. Maybe it's because I can't put a face to a name.
Long story short, and mostly because I can't remember. I woke up hung over, drugged, and surrounded by dead Stormtroopers. At first I thought I was dead, for surely it couldn't be real. But it was very real. And I was alive. Part of me wished to join those corpses. I've been told that they are there because of me. Imperial blood is on my hands. I failed as a Commander. I don't even know how to make things right. I've thought about what it would be like to get off this rock. And to be honest. Just thinking about it makes me sick. I want to finish what I started. I want to set things right. In the end. I can't bring them back. I'd give anything for them. My own life if that's what it would take.
I know this is going to sound crazy. It is crazy. I don't even know where to begin. Maybe from the beginning? No...not yet. I'm not ready for that. I'll start from a few days ago. I witnessed a comrads death. I experienced it as if his eyes were my own. It wasn't the first time either. And that's not all of it. I've tried to keep it to myself. But it got worse. I made the mistake of using the Force. I revealed Teroc's death to Captain Jai'galaar. But I'd be kidding myself if I thought I could have kept it to myself forever. Nothing lasts forever. I've learned that the hard way.
I think after all this...I need to hear something good. Tell me a story. Anything you want. If you don't mind.
Faj
Message edited by Fajra_Merav - Wednesday, 30 Nov 2011, 6:25 PM |
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| Orion_Karath | Date: Friday, 16 Dec 2011, 1:33 AM | Message # 11 |
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Lieutenant
Group: Users
Messages: 71
Status: Offline
| Special Operations Command Core Forward Operations Base Anaxes
To: Commander Fajra Merav
Commanding Officer, 13th Stormtrooper Legion
From: Captain Orion Karath
Imperial Army Special Forces
Subject: Re: Algarian
Encryption: Alpha Green
Heh, I now realize how silly doing so may sound. I guess I couldn't help but trying to look after you, once I knew what you had been through. My mother and father both always instilled into me an ideal which I believe I live in the Special Forces now; to protect those who can not protect themselves. Not to downplay you, or your abilities, but it seems that lately you've needed an extra pair of caring eyes to look out for you, at least.
Perhaps you tell me these things simply because of my faceless nature, perhaps it's trust. Sometimes we just connect with individuals, on any manner of level. For all the technology and "advancement of culture", we still know about as little about the workings of the universe as they did in the days in ballistic weaponry. It is unfortunate, that you are suffering from flashbacks, even once, to what happened on Corulag. I admit, I've had troubles with flashbacks myself, albeit mine are from the fighting on Renatasia, not what you went through.
I can tell you from too much personal experience, it's hell to lose anyone under your command. You'll feel sick, angry, sorry, depressed, mad at yourself, as well as your superiors, and everything in-between and beyond. Ultimately, you have to recognize it as an unfortunate aspect of our lives and professions. Only a certain type of individual can do the work we do, and none of us would be here nor this far if we weren't the type of individual needed for the job. I can understand too, feeling like your leaving a job before it's complete... alot like the op I was just on. You just have to try to move on, despite everything in your being telling you not tell, but try to also cling to the hope that you will be deployed again to whatever miserable hellhole you wish to return to.
Although it is perhaps a do as I say, not as I do moment, I would not recommend walking around with a death wish of any kind. It can lead to... well, blatant stupidity that you may come to regret later. Then again, same goes for above about trying to ignore the deaths under your command, so I guess you can take all that with a grain of salt. I will admit that I don't know about "the Force", other than some can use it, some can't, and that all of use have it, somehow. I've heard of some people being able to "use" it in high-stress situations. I wouldn't go around repeating that, however, otherwise the Inquisitors might get wind of it and drag you away to who-knows-where. This seems to be a personal issue for you though, so perhaps more discussion on it is needed for me to gain any sort of insight or position from which to give advice for.
I will say this, despite all this, there is nothing I can find about you need changed. As I may have said when we began to speak, we all have our flaws... it makes who we are. While we should improve upon them if possible, we should also embrace them as part of us, and not hide them nor succumb to them, unless absolutely necessary. I have them, you have them, as does everyone else, even the Emperor; no matter how "perfect" any one person might be perceived as or demanded to be. It is imperfection that is true perfection... and true beauty. "Perfect" is boring. "Perfect" is a lack of humanity. "Perfect" doesn't last forever, but there are things that exist which do. They are a rare find, and something to cherish when found; they will stay around if worth keeping. Ultimately, it comes down to some things are meant to be, and some aren't. I think I'm starting to fall into rambling territory here...
Let's see, a story. A good one? I don't mind at all, although you seem to like to challenge a man. I can not think of anything "good" from my personal experience, as I have known nothing but war and soldiering for my entire life; I am part Echani, the other part Corellian. My mother was the Echani, and she raised me "traditionally", at least as much as my father's Republic, and now Imperial, ultranationalism would allow. One thing I learned from my mother was the teachings of an Echani warrior poet, named Paxas. He established several guiding pillars to life throughout his own, and was a notable philosopher. One of his sayings, is in fact notable, one of several of these small sayings which are paradoxes. It goes something like this, "No one errs willingly or knowingly." Obviously, some people make the wrong decision, but in the grand scheme of the universe of which we are unknowing, everything happens for a reason, and what happens, is simply that, what happens. We may have some measure of control over it, and perhaps that control over the situations we find ourselves is something we should strive for, but we need to accept, where applicable, what has happened, accept that as part of ourselves, and use it to learn from; granted not all lessons are clear cut as others. As I read over this, I think I may sound much more indifferent, or even worse, much like a jackass, here than I intend. I think I'll just close on that note for now, with the promise of a story the next time I write.
Major Orion "Reaper" Karath
Imperial Army
Special Actions Group
Hero of the Empire
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| Fajra_Merav | Date: Monday, 19 Dec 2011, 9:02 AM | Message # 12 |
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Major general
Group: Users
Messages: 258
Status: Offline
| To: Captain Orion Karath
Imperial Army Special Forces
From: Commander Fajra Merav
Commanding Officer, 13th Stormtrooper Legion
Subject: Re: Algarian
Encryption: Alpha Green
I have a hard time accepting help. I was advised to seek help after Corulag. I went one time and called it a day. If they want to help me. They can bring me the eight bastards responsible.
If I said I didn't need help. I'd be lying to myself, and you. I do. I have made a mess of me. But that's okay. The galaxy breaks everybody, but afterwards many are strong in broken places. I wont turn your help away, as I have others. I trust you.
Everything happens for a reason. I feel as though you are right. Ever since I could remember, I had often thought our destinies were written in the stars. And that one day, I would take control of my destiny. I think I was five then, and now I'm twenty-two. The only thing I have control over, is myself. And given my ardent personality. I have trouble with that.
What happened on the Algarian Campaign, it happened because it was supposed to. I don't like it. But I see that now. I learned a lot about myself, and the men under my command. I respect the Clones. When initially, I didn't give them much thought. They weren't human in my eyes. I was wrong. I only wish that their eyes could have seen in me, what I saw in them. Feint, Jai'galaar, Breach...they treated me like an outsider. A feeling shared by many others. They looked over my rank, and did what they wanted. When Nexu Squad came to collect me. I might as well have been a Rebel.
And that Kaleesh General Adenn? I have a lot of opinions about him and his species, and none of them good. If I gained anything positive from this Campaign. It would be Ne'tra and Gauntlet Company. They were the only ones that respected my leadership. They gave me a chance. And that means everything to me.
I was on the line the last time I wrote. I'm now on a shuttle bound for Procopia. General Adenn and Imperial High Command has placed me on an extended leave of absence. They say I'm suffering from "Algarian Madness," a term they coined on the planet for those who snap under the violent conditions of the battles, and stress taking place on Algarian. It's not true. I will deny it. I know what I saw. I don't understand the Force. I don't want to. But it has chosen me. Perhaps it's destiny again kicking me in the ass. Would it be wrong to continue to ignore it? Or should I accept my fate and let the Inquisitors come. Wasn't it under my command that the Jedi Tesdra Nintra was apprehended? I know where my loyalties lie. But does the Empire?
Faj
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