| Emperor_Park | Date: Wednesday, 24 Aug 2011, 4:23 PM | Message # 1 |
 Lieutenant colonel
Group: Users
Messages: 104
Status: Offline
| *This audio was attached. It was sent via the terminal Park gave him*
Dear A. Friend
You are literally, without exception, the worst criminal I have ever met. And I do not mean that as a compliment. Originally I thought nothing of shaking down a criminal like yourself (You accepting fake asteroid bonds, fake deeds, and lately a cargo of oregano in exchange for massive quantities of military hardware). This was hilarious originally but now I just feel bad for you and am concerned that perhaps you are suffering from some form of gullibility disorder.
My time and working with a paint software on my datapad in creating those certificates, you have cost me and what I have had in return.
You have had from me
0.02 Imperial Credits - Printing all these fake documents
59 Credits - 150kg of Oregano from Cookery Barn on Deralia (not a bad buy!)
A nice crate I found on a hulk once - Value 100 Credits
I have had from you
(100) B1 Battle Droid (reactivated),
(10) Double Barrel Repeating Blaster
(5) EWHB-12 Heavy Repeating Blaster
(15) Anti-Starfighter Cluster Bomb
(05) Diamond Boron missile
(5) Ion Bomb
(02) HE Missile
(20) Turbolaser Cannons,
(23) Ion Cannons
A case of Seismic charges.
Some wine
Net value, several million credits
In my life I have never been a believer in High Human Culture but I suppose this is a demonstration of the stupidity of aliens! Lets hope you are the last of the species so your incompetent DNA is not inflicted upon the innocents of the next generation eh?
I suppose the way you were so easily shaken down by Moff Simon Levi and lost millions of credits worth of missiles and your ship is an indication. I do not mean to be harsh here, and actually have come to feel sorry for you, but perhaps criminality is not the career to which you are best suited? I mean, maybe sell your assets and set up a small business run by someone else? That way you would at least have someone semi-business/life savvy to run things for you and wouldn't end up being ripped off :-).
Genuinely I really hope this is some sort of project to "disarm" your enemies by causing them to literally expect you to do the most hilariously gullible thing.
The best part of this is that you are just a filthy Alien criminal with no court to appeal to for a judgement on this matter :-)
Perhaps I should explain some of the puns you have fallen so easily for. I threw in some hints and hoped you might get them, but instead your cupidity continued!
Mr Titus Zell? Tight as hell.. Do you not see the fake pun name?
And best of all.
U. Bean-Hadd (You've been had!)
And truly you have been had.
I honestly wish you the best for the future, and have nothing against you friend. But you would do better to use some smarts when dealing as a criminal. You are a wanted man but if you change your identity and move to a backwater you will escape notice, I am sure you could live a healthy life and enjoy yourself. Perhaps you should try not to be something you are not (a criminal mastermind).
So, with best wishes, I bid you adieu sweet friend.
The best of luck with everything and urge you to turn from your life of crime.
Yours Sincerely.
His Imperial Majesty Antonius I
_________________________
Emperor of the Atrisians
Baron Park of Nevar
Vanquisher of the Mandalorians
Message edited by Baron_Park - Wednesday, 24 Aug 2011, 4:34 PM |
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