| Davon_Vanden | Date: Friday, 07 Dec 2012, 11:46 PM | Message # 1 |
 Lieutenant colonel
Group: Users
Messages: 100
Status: Offline
| Time - 21:35
Entry No. - 1
I came home today.
Not in the metaphorical sense; the literal sense. Naboo was always a drag when I was younger, but it felt good to step off the shuttle and smell the air again. Keren always smelled like poppies; I remember mom used to constantly leave the window open so the house would smell of them. Dad never liked that, I guess he enjoyed the filtered air. I never minded, though, the smell made her smile. She never smiled enough...
It's an odd feeling, though, being back. Seems like yesterday I was throwing myself at the nearest off-world shuttle as fast as my sexy legs could carry me. I guess if I'd known I'd be back, I never would've left. I can't exactly say I've changed, much, or that the years have been good to me. Didn't exactly set the galaxy on fire, as I'd hoped. Made some new friends.. a family, really, but that fell apart. I should've known better, families always fall apart in the end. I don't know why I thought the crew would be any different. Guess maybe you figure you can't get any lower than I got, but that's when life hits ya with a kick in the nuts, isn't it?
Dad offered to let me stay at the old place, to be honest I was shocked he kept it this long. That was a big house, and if I know him, he didn't remarry. So who the hell was staying with him beside Ana?
...
Ana. Oh shit, she's still working for him. She's gonna freak when I show up. Especially with how I left things; wow, what a dumbass I am. Hurt like hell to leave her, but she wasn't going to go with me. I didn't know what the hell else to do, and I hear she's engaged or some shit now. Guess that's what I deserve, too. Dad says he's invited to the wedding, offered to bring me. I guess he thinks it'll be cathartic or something, seeing her again, but I don't know. I'm still not even sure about this whole situation. I mean, dad calls me from out of the blue, guess he heard about what happened to the Aphelion, and wants to patch things up? I guess it was time, but..
Fuck it. I'm here now, no sense in getting cold feet. Can't run out again, nowhere to go. Nowhere to go but back home.
At least it smells like poppies. Love you mom, wherever you are.
Added (07 Dec 2012, 11:46 PM)
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Time - 11:47
Entry No. - 2
Well that sucked. I mean, the food was nice, helluva lot nicer than I remember. I reckon that's just bitterness talking, I'm sure the food was always delicious, but man.. it would've almost been a nice meal if it wasn't for, y'know, the people. Dad and I had our little chat, no tears or anything but I'll admit to choking up at one point. It was hard seeing him again; I could tell by the way he didn't want to look at me half the time. He's still angry, hell, I'm still angry. Dinner and a show wasn't about to rebuild this burnt bridge. He talked about 'making amends' and I could've sworn I saw a tear at one point, so who knows. I gotta admit, the talking didn't go as badly, or as loudly, as I was afraid it might.
But then they showed up. Ana, her playboy high-life fiancée in tow. He had to have been sick or something, because he looked like death. I mean... call the coroner and get the corpse out of the dining chair-dead. His eyes just kinda... looked through you. Gave me all sorts of bad feelings, so I kept my eyes to myself most of the meal. Ana didn't seem too happy to see me, can't say I blame her. After dinner was over she pulled me out to the balcony and gave me shit-slinging of a lifetime. I apologized, and we hugged after a few more words. I told her she looked beautiful, and that I was happy for her.
Am I, though?
Meh. I have no right to be pissed about it; I ended things, I took off. She didn't want to follow me to who-knows-where and I've made peace with it. But seeing her again.. I don't know. Might just be old feelings coming back up for air, but I could've sworn I felt something was still there. It was faint, might just have been my imagination, but.. it was something. She asked me to come to the wedding, believe it or not. I told her I'd think about it; because how fucking awkward would that be? 'Oh, hey woman-whose-heart-I-broke, I bought you a fucking dinner plate. Congrats on being happy while I'm miserable!'
Shit, listen to me. I need a drink. Good thing this motel has a decent mini bar, hooray for Senatorial hospitality, right?
Davon "Booster" Vanden - Big Damn Hero.
For what avail the plough or sail, or land or life, if freedom fail? ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
Theme ~ Wanted - Bon Jovi
Message edited by Davon_Vanden - Friday, 07 Dec 2012, 11:47 PM |
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