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Questioning the Future
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| KalThanatos | Date: Monday, 16 Apr 2012, 3:58 PM | Message # 1 |
 Colonel
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| Their future was always changing with every single decision they would make, separate or together. Every person they decided to talk to, planet they decided to visit or even the child they were about to bring into this universe would change their future, for better or worse. Just hours ago, the two had made the choice to ask Lana's close friend, Titus, to become the godfather to their son. They both knew it was a wise choice and a necessary one. It provided them relief knowing that someone would be there to take care of their son if something were to happen to them both. The trip back to their vessel was a short and oddly quiet one. Kal, usually quiet anyway, was deep in thought during their ride back. He continued to go back and forth for a while with what was on his mind at the moment. It was yet again another choice that could either lighten or darken the future of his family.
Once having arrived at their ship, boarded and gone through all of the rigorous system checks done by the pilot, they were off and bound for their next destination, which hadn't been decided at this point to his knowledge. He quietly stepped into the cabin where Lana was more than likely sitting and being her gorgeous self. He would only step a little bit into the room before addressing her.
"Lana, I need to talk to you about something...."
Service in the Galactic Empire (Current)
Inquisitor
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Service in the Grand Army of the Republic (Former)
Jedi Knight
Jedi General of the 608th Legion
Jedi Commander of the 608th Regiment & Hotel Squadron
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| Ilanah_Thanatos | Date: Monday, 16 Apr 2012, 4:21 PM | Message # 2 |
 Colonel general
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| Lana had been thrilled that Titus had agreed to be the godfather of their son. She had wondered if he would, considering everything he had going on, and of course his age, but none the less, it thrilled her that he had accepted. He was the best choice. He was also the safest choice. Their son would likely be a force user, and that would be dangerous for anyone involved, but she felt that Titus would be able to handle it.
She looked up as Kal entered the cabin. Lana had removed her coat and shoes and was sitting in the middle of their bed with her datapad, though it was off. "I do not feel like working." she mentioned idly as he walked in and she watched him move over. She knew that something was wrong when she saw the look on his face. They had been together long enough that she could almost feel it.
"Alright..." She said, her heart racing some when she heard his words. "What is it? You know you can talk to me about anything."
Ilanah R. Thanatos
Senator of Chandrila
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| KalThanatos | Date: Monday, 16 Apr 2012, 4:27 PM | Message # 3 |
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Colonel
Group: Users
Messages: 189
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| Her heart wasn't the only one that was racing. He could practically hear his beating in his chest. For so long, the two of them had wanted a better life for themselves and their soon to be born son. This could be the only way right now that they could get what they wanted.
"I know I can talk to you about anything. I've been going back and forth with this for a while now." He would take a slight pause, trying to figure the best way to say this to her. "Lana, we've been wanting the best for us and our son. I think that it might be time for you to let go of the Rebellion. You've done a lot, but things are only going to get more dangerous the longer you are involved with them." He would take a few steps further into the room, closer to her and the bed she was sitting on.
"Let Tremaine handle things from here on out. You have more to lose if you are caught having your hand in all of this..."
Service in the Galactic Empire (Current)
Inquisitor
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Service in the Grand Army of the Republic (Former)
Jedi Knight
Jedi General of the 608th Legion
Jedi Commander of the 608th Regiment & Hotel Squadron
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| Ilanah_Thanatos | Date: Monday, 16 Apr 2012, 4:35 PM | Message # 4 |
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Colonel general
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Messages: 891
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| Waiting to hear what he wanted to talk about was making her nauseous. Or the snack she had when she got on the ship made her nauseous. It was really a toss up anymore. Sometimes water made her nauseous.
"Kal...I can't.....just leave them like that...." She started. Her voice was trembling. "I mean...it's what is right to do. Isn't it?" Lana questioned. the nausea got worse all of a sudden as she started to think about it. In the back of her mind, she knew that Kal was right. It was too dangerous for her to be dealing with all of that anymore. Especially with Caden so close to being born.
She thought about Seraphine for a moment. Maybe she could take her place...or that other new assistant....she was unsure.
"Why are you saying this?"
Ilanah R. Thanatos
Senator of Chandrila
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| KalThanatos | Date: Monday, 16 Apr 2012, 4:42 PM | Message # 5 |
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Colonel
Group: Users
Messages: 189
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| Her feelings could easily be felt in the room immediately after hearing what he had to say. It was a necessary discussion that they needed to have.
"I understand that you can't just up and leave, but it might be the right thing for you to do at this point." He would stop for a moment, as her question repeated itself in his head. Why was he saying this? And why now?
"I'm saying all of this because I don't want to loose you. I want what is best for us and Caden, and right now, remaining as loyal as possible to the Emperor and his Empire is the smartest thing we can do. They are the ones that are keeping the stability that we need to have for our family. Yes, we will have to do things that we don't agree with. We will have to smile and be nice when on the inside we want to rebel and bring true peace back to this universe."
"It is what we need to do, Lana...."
Service in the Galactic Empire (Current)
Inquisitor
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Service in the Grand Army of the Republic (Former)
Jedi Knight
Jedi General of the 608th Legion
Jedi Commander of the 608th Regiment & Hotel Squadron
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| Ilanah_Thanatos | Date: Monday, 16 Apr 2012, 4:51 PM | Message # 6 |
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Colonel general
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| There was something else going on, she could feel it. She might have been wrong, but something still felt off. Lana started to feel her emotions spiral out of control, something she couldn't help. Caden wasn't helping, with his constant and nearly painful kicking.
"How....can I be loyal to something that is so wrong....to something that is hurting people? And my people on top of that." She asked, trying to keep calm as she did. "We? I've had to do that....I have to do that every single day in senate. And I have to vote for ridiculous bills and laws that...." Lana trailed off as she pulled herself up off of the bed and moved to the window.
"Is there anything else that you need to tell me? the truth, Kal. All of it." She murmured.
Ilanah R. Thanatos
Senator of Chandrila
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| KalThanatos | Date: Monday, 16 Apr 2012, 5:03 PM | Message # 7 |
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Colonel
Group: Users
Messages: 189
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| She had a valid point in her argument. How could they be loyal to something that was so wrong, killing innocent people and furthering damage throughout the Galaxy. He didn't have the answer she was looking for, at this moment.
"I know it isn't easy having to put a smile on your face everyday and have to put up with all of that crap that passes through the Senate. I feel the same way, sometimes. All I'm wanting is for all of us to be safe, and right now we are by following the rules of the game. A time will come in the future, when we will be able to make that one swift move and be truly happy once again, living without the fear of the Empire."
Service in the Galactic Empire (Current)
Inquisitor
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Service in the Grand Army of the Republic (Former)
Jedi Knight
Jedi General of the 608th Legion
Jedi Commander of the 608th Regiment & Hotel Squadron
Message edited by KalThanatos - Monday, 16 Apr 2012, 5:03 PM |
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| Ilanah_Thanatos | Date: Monday, 16 Apr 2012, 5:15 PM | Message # 8 |
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Colonel general
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| Lana went completely silent for a long while. In that silence, she wondered if this was going to be like it was before. She wondered if he was hiding something darker from her, or if he truly was just worried about her and their son. She rested both of her hands on the windowsill and let out a small sigh after several tense moments.
"I have to stay in senate to at least protect my people the best I can, Kal. They've already had so much taken from them, I don't want to see anymore removed from the Chandrilan's." She finally said. "You do understand that, don't you?"
Ilanah R. Thanatos
Senator of Chandrila
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| KalThanatos | Date: Monday, 16 Apr 2012, 5:21 PM | Message # 9 |
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Colonel
Group: Users
Messages: 189
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| He would nod, agreeing to her statement as well as to show he agreed with her, following it up with a response.
"I do understand that, Lana. I'm not asking you to step away from doing all you can to help your people. Staying in the Senate might be the major way you can help them. They've already lost one of their Senators, don't let them lose another for the same reason."
Service in the Galactic Empire (Current)
Inquisitor
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Service in the Grand Army of the Republic (Former)
Jedi Knight
Jedi General of the 608th Legion
Jedi Commander of the 608th Regiment & Hotel Squadron
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| Ilanah_Thanatos | Date: Monday, 16 Apr 2012, 5:30 PM | Message # 10 |
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Colonel general
Group: Users
Messages: 891
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| His words hit home. And they hit home hard, like a kick in the gut. She hated admitting that he was right. It was hard to admit that. So for the moment, she didn't, and she just stayed silent.
"The difference is that Mon Mothma...was incredibly vocal about what she was doing. I am not. And I never will be. I'm careful, Kal. And I haven't done much of anything since Jules..." Since Jules died, but she couldn't say it. She didn't want anyone else to die because of her, the more she thought about it.
"You're right....." She finally sighed, her voice quiet.
Ilanah R. Thanatos
Senator of Chandrila
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| KalThanatos | Date: Wednesday, 18 Apr 2012, 5:12 PM | Message # 11 |
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Colonel
Group: Users
Messages: 189
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| He wasn't sure what to say now. Everything that he had brought up, all the points that he felt should matter in this situation, seemed to have worked out the way he wanted it to.
However, this wasn't the only thing that was on his mind at this point. There was something else that was on his mind, something that he had been through before.
"I know it's all been hard on you, Lana, but that isn't the only thing that I have been wanting to talk to you about. I....I don't know how to say this." He took a moment, taking a deep breath.
"I've been having dark thoughts again. Dreams, visions mainly, of me slaughtering people...Jedi too. I've tried all I can to get these out of my head, just not able to, and there's part of me now that doesn't want to get them out. I'm not sure what to do about it, Lana. The feeling of seeing the life leave someone's eyes as I pull my saber from their torso is something I've been wanting to feel again..."
"What should I do?"
Service in the Galactic Empire (Current)
Inquisitor
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Service in the Grand Army of the Republic (Former)
Jedi Knight
Jedi General of the 608th Legion
Jedi Commander of the 608th Regiment & Hotel Squadron
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| Ilanah_Thanatos | Date: Wednesday, 18 Apr 2012, 5:23 PM | Message # 12 |
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Colonel general
Group: Users
Messages: 891
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| As he spoke, her entire body tensed and she froze. Even her breathing stopped for a moment. In fact, she felt like all of the oxygen had been sucked from the room. This was why she had left he first time around. A mistake she had regretted, but she was frightened enough that she couldn't have stayed.
"Kal...." Ilanah started slowly. In her mind, their entire history played out. Every second from the moment she met him (even though he was unconscious at the time), to when she ran, to meeting him again and bringing his memory back. She thought about how thrilled he had been when she told him they were expecting, but now this. She was losing him again. It made tears well in her eyes.
"Is not you...killing just for the thrill of it." Lana paused for a moment. "Is this...what this whole conversation has been for?" She was trying to fours out how to bring him back, but if he slipped, she wondered if it would be possible. And then she wondered what she could do.
Ilanah R. Thanatos
Senator of Chandrila
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| KalThanatos | Date: Wednesday, 18 Apr 2012, 5:38 PM | Message # 13 |
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Colonel
Group: Users
Messages: 189
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| He too felt as if all of the air in the room had been vacuumed out, leaving him almost gasping for a breath. After a moment, he would shake his head to her.
"No, this isn't what the whole conversation is for....not at all. I want what is best for us, and us being as loyal as possible right now gives us that, but how else can I continue on as an Inquisitor if I can't take a life? I haven't fallen, and you haven't lost me."
"What if I have to fall in order to keep things safe? I have to be able to do what it takes to give us what is best and keep our family safe."
Service in the Galactic Empire (Current)
Inquisitor
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Service in the Grand Army of the Republic (Former)
Jedi Knight
Jedi General of the 608th Legion
Jedi Commander of the 608th Regiment & Hotel Squadron
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| Ilanah_Thanatos | Date: Wednesday, 18 Apr 2012, 6:01 PM | Message # 14 |
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Colonel general
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| "How safe would we really be? " Lana asked him softly when she finally turned to face him. She was incredibly pale and she looked thoroughly worn down. It could have been the trip, but the conversation likely had a great deal to do with it.
"I love you, Kal. I don't want to be apart again, but, I don't want to be afraid either." She said finally. "Should I be? " She wasn't positive there was anything that she could do otherwise. "Or...what can I do to help you?"
Ilanah R. Thanatos
Senator of Chandrila
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| KalThanatos | Date: Wednesday, 25 Apr 2012, 4:04 PM | Message # 15 |
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Colonel
Group: Users
Messages: 189
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| How safe could things really be? He had to pause a moment and think about that. A few things came to mind that could potentially bring about danger for them, but mostly what he could come up with was for their safety.
"And how safe would we be if we continued down the path we are on? You, being a major head of a rebellion against the Empire, and me, continuing to be an Inquisitor and at the same time, helping with whatever I can to further that rebellion. That isn't what we need at this point in our lives together. We both need to look at the bigger picture."
"I love you too, Lana. There's no need to be afraid. Never will I bring harm to you, Caden or the ones that we genuinely care about." He would move next to her, wrapping his arm around her torso, "We wont be apart again, I promise you. There's nothing to worry about with us..."
Service in the Galactic Empire (Current)
Inquisitor
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Service in the Grand Army of the Republic (Former)
Jedi Knight
Jedi General of the 608th Legion
Jedi Commander of the 608th Regiment & Hotel Squadron
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