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Impatient Anxiety
Ilanah_ThanatosDate: Wednesday, 29 Dec 2010, 2:58 PM | Message # 1
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It was raining again that evening and the water cascaded in sheets over the floor to ceiling windows that spanned the living area of the private residence that was miles from the senate district on Imperial Center. The Senator stood at that window again, staring out into the darkness through the torrent, as she had for most nights in the past week and a half. She paced also, that night, the hemline of her long pale blue silk night gown and robe dragged across the plush carpeting with every barefooted step that she took.

She was wracked with guilt over what she had asked of him. It was too much, and too uncertain, and now after ten days she was unsure if he was alive or dead. It hurt her heart to think of it. She had been too selfish, and wanting the help too badly to think about what might have happened to him during this process, had he made it through the process at all. There had been nothing in the news of a Jedi capture, nor did she think there would be, but that did not stop her from pouring over the holonet day after day just looking for anything, any word at all. Absolutely nothing came of it.

Ilanah had plans for the time he was gone, not one of which she had done or accomplished or even attempted. She had intended on seeing Moff Brandt to ask for help. The help she needed consisted of him showing her the ship yards and the new ships being built for the Empire, all under the guise that she knew nothing of ships and wanted to (within the law of course) start a fleet for her home world of Chandrila. But she couldn't bring herself to do it. Not yet. She was sure that she would speak with the Moff soon enough. There were other things as well as that, but that had been her priority.

So for another night, she left dinner untouched and work unfinished as she struggled with her guilt, worry, and pain. Their conversation had repeated itself in her mind, over and over:

Kal_Thanatos turned to face her, "I may have made mistakes in the past, but the Force has done something for us...it has led me back to you. I'm willing to do what ever it takes to be like that again..." He pointed over to where he left the album and recorder

Ilanah_Thanatos looked up at him and sighed softly. "Whatever it takes?" She murmured, her voice almost hoarse.

Kal_Thanatos hesitated a moment before answering, "Whatever it takes, Lana...I'll do anything..."

She regretted nearly every second of that conversation now and it was tearing her apart, but there were hardly any tears left for her to cry out. They had stained her cheeks for days when she was alone. The few hours each day in the senate rotunda were the only times that she was able to muster the strength to even put on a facade. There were even days that she did not go in, and simply worked from home, feigning illness or exhaustion, which was not uncommon as sometimes senators represented plants from their home planets and never set foot on Coruscant. Ilanah had wanted to talk to Tremaine, but she wasn't sure she could tell him yet what she had done. She wasn't sure how he would react or if he would think that it would help. So she didn't. But she would when the time was right.

Ilanah stopped pacing and faced the water streaked window before she rested her left hand against the glass, where a soft line of fog formed around her palm due to the heat of her hand against the cold pane. She rested her forehead against the glass also, her gaze cast downwards into the darkness that swirled down the side of her building and eventually ended in the underlevels. At that point, there were only two people in the galaxy she wanted to speak to: Adoven, who was out gallivanting (though he was really recruiting for the rebellion) across the galaxy, and Kal Thanatos. What was worse was that the latter of the two was quite possibly dead.


Ilanah R. Thanatos
Senator of Chandrila


Message edited by Ilanah_Thanatos - Wednesday, 29 Dec 2010, 5:10 PM
 
KalThanatosDate: Monday, 10 Jan 2011, 7:53 PM | Message # 2
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It had been weeks since the capture on Coruscant. Kal had been taken, and broken by the Inquistorious. There was something that he felt was off about him just being able to be 'let go'. Instead of returning back to the planet of his capture, making it look obvious, he made the decision to remain off of the Empire's main planet. Upon using one of the ships that was provided to him, he encrypted a message back to his former spouse that only she would understand, "Return to the planet that we began our life's together. It is where you had never been before...." That would have been the only thing that she would have gotten from him. He would immediately set the coordinates for the planet in which he had told her. It would take him a little less time than it would take her...

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Ilanah_ThanatosDate: Monday, 10 Jan 2011, 8:12 PM | Message # 3
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The Senator had mostly pulled herself together, no, no that was a lie. She was still a wreck of guilt and misery. Her bodyguard, the one of two that she kept near at all times, had started to worry enough that he lingered inside of the condo instead of out, watching her day and night to make sure she stayed safe. When her comm rang from the counter, he was closest. He grabbed it and moved over to her, crouching next to her as he handed her the small device.

She looked up at him, and then played the message on the speaker so he heard it too. The man perked an eyebrow, as he didn't understand what it meant. "Get a personal ship...we're leaving." She murmured. Her heart fluttered a little as she allowed to help her off of the floor where she had been sitting. As he left, confused, but with orders, she dashed off to her bedroom and dressed and packed, though doing both at the same time was proving to be a complete mess.

Into the case she threw clothes, and then she finally oriented herself in a silk gown that was a stunning cobalt blue shade. Nimbled fingers laced the tightly corseted bodice and then she slipped on shoes. The guard would arrive moments later to take her bag, and at the moment she was rifling through her jewelry box. Finally, as he waited for her, she located the slender platinum band that she hadn't worn in so many years and slid it easily onto her finger. It should have never left there in the first place.

"I'll send messages once we're off planet..." She told him as she grabbed her datapad and work case on her way out of the condo to meet the ship, which wasn't far. Ilanah felt that if she needed to get away, it was what she needed, and she did. Her job could still be done even if she was somewhere else in the galaxy. It didn't matter.

Within an hour of the receipt of the message, her guard had her settled on board of a comfortable ship and he was setting her specified coordinates. And as they left Coruscant, she took the time to send a message to Tremaine to let him know that she was doing some work off planet and she would contact him soon about important matters. And then, she waited, impatiently.


Ilanah R. Thanatos
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KalThanatosDate: Monday, 10 Jan 2011, 8:21 PM | Message # 4
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Hours had passed, and the travel had been long and boring for the newest recruit. Kal heard a few beeps coming from the console. He pushed a few buttons and began to bring the shuttle down to the planet's surface. He knew that the Empire had a hand here on the planet, and already had a cover if they were to get caught on the planet. The shuttle came down way outside of the main city. He brought it down nearby a very luxurious summer home that he had once visited. He wasn't sure just how long it had been, but it was long enough. As he exited the shuttle, the air filled his lungs. You could feel the difference of the quality as it entered into the lungs. Naboo was a fantastic place, as well as a romantic place. This would give them, hopefully, the peace and quiet that the two would need for their meeting after many weeks of no contact.

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Ilanah_ThanatosDate: Monday, 10 Jan 2011, 8:30 PM | Message # 5
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Despite her guards protests, Ilanah paced the ship while he piloted them to Naboo. She probably could have flown herself, but the landing would not have been pretty....or likely surviveable. The journey had indeed taken longer than his would have, but once they had entered the atmosphere, she would find herself in the cockpit. 'There..." She murmured as she pointed out where the other ship had landed not far from that same villa. It was the same villa, she thought, as all those years ago. It seemed like a lifetime.

Before he had even set the ship down on the landing pad, Ilanah had given him instruction that he had to take the ship elsewhere on the planet and hide it and that she would be fine. He was reluctant of course, but had no room to argue. Instead, he helped her with her bag and off of the ship before he left her standing in front of that villa.

Ilanah drew in a small breath,and then let out a light sigh as she looked up at the home. it was quiet and beautiful, and perfect for what they needed.


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KalThanatosDate: Tuesday, 11 Jan 2011, 7:10 PM | Message # 6
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Having been there, waiting, Kal made his way around the villa, remembering the time that he had spent there before. He visited nearly every room, having images and memories flood his head. Even though there was happiness that filled this place, his mind and heart was now filled with pain and hatred. The time that he had spent being tortured and mental screwed up had brought him further down into the Dark Side than he had once been.

As she arrived, he stood there, watching her from the top balcony. His cloak flowed with the small gusts of wind that blew in from the hills that surrounded this serene villa. The lake nearby glistened in the sun light as it began to set for the day. If she were to look up, she would notice his dark eyes looking down at her from a few stories above.


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Ilanah_ThanatosDate: Tuesday, 11 Jan 2011, 7:18 PM | Message # 7
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She wouldn't have looked up, only to each side as she checked to make sure her guard was leaving her as instructed. She walked into the villa and dropped her bag inside the door, then her work bag beside it. "Kal?" She called out, her voice echoing through the massive building before she started up the staircase. His ship, or what she thought was his ship, was there, so she assumed that he was also.

Ilanah wandered through the halls, remembering the place piece by piece. She hadn't really thought about what she was going to say to him yet, or how she was going to apologize to him. Half of her expected him not to forgive her. But she hoped that he would. Finally, she stopped in an empty doorway, her gaze on the back of a dark cloaked figure on the balcony.

"Kal...."


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KalThanatosDate: Tuesday, 11 Jan 2011, 7:24 PM | Message # 8
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As he heard her making her way through the villa, he stood there looking out on the valley, watching the sun begin to fall on the horizon. As he heard her come onto the balcony and call his name, his head turned to the side, "Lana...glad to see you got my message...." His words would have been on the softer, colder side. She wouldn't have known what he would have gone through during those weeks he had been gone. She would only have an idea of the pain he had endured for her. The suffering that he had to go through just for her. He would slowly turn towards her, waiting for what she would say next....

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Ilanah_ThanatosDate: Tuesday, 11 Jan 2011, 7:35 PM | Message # 9
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The woman lingered in the doorway for just a moment before she shrugged off the wrap she had been wearing from her shoulders and let it drop to the marble floor. "I did....I couldn't get here fast enough..." She murmured as she crossed the room. Before she actually thought about what she was doing, Ilanah was across the room and had put herself in his arms and slid her own around his torso.

She rested her head on his chest, breathing in his scent as she forced herself not to shed anymore tears. Her emotions were all over the place, however. "I asked too much of you....I should have just....when I realized you were just you we should have just come back here and started over. I was wrong and I am so sorry...." She murmured,her voice cracking a bit.

"I'll understand if you can't forgive me, but Kal, I just....want us to be us. You said you would do anything, and so will I."


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KalThanatosDate: Tuesday, 11 Jan 2011, 7:55 PM | Message # 10
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Kal just stood there, waiting for her to approach him. She did, and wrapped her arms around his torso and placed her head on his chest. He tilted his head down and looked at her. There was a bit of anger held within towards the situation he had gotten into on Coruscant, but when she said that she was wrong and that she was sorry, it was as if something snapped a little inside his head. He took her by the arm, unwrapping them from around him. He stepped back to look into her eyes, "Sorry? Wrong? I did say I'd do anything for you, but you have no idea what I've gone through. You have no idea what we've gotten into here. I've had flesh ripped off of my body and put back on just so they could do it again. They broke me down, inside and out." He stopped for a moment. He could feel the anger building inside of him as he stood there, talking about it all.

"I've fallen, Lana. Farther than I've been...and I couldn't stop it. The pain and suffering I've endured has affected me, and a part of me inside that likes it. It likes the fact that I've got the power to go anywhere, do anything, and get anything. The power I have is intoxicating and I don't know if that part of me inside would give it away..."


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Ilanah_ThanatosDate: Tuesday, 11 Jan 2011, 8:02 PM | Message # 11
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When he wrapped his hand around her arm, she blinked slowly as he pushed her away and stepped back himself. His grip was stronger than she remembered, but she also didn't care. Ilanah shook her head a little as she listened to him. "I know....I know...." She said in response before she drew in a breath and averted her gaze.

Ilanah rested her palms on his chest lightly, her fingertips rubbing the black fabric of his shirt lightly. For several moments, she didn't look at him. "I realized when you were away..." She paused. "I still love you. I need you. You need me." She said as she tried not to think about what he must have gone through. This was not exactly what she had hoped would happen here, but part of her had expected this anger.

"I wish I could tell you how I feel...I don't think I can...." There weren't words.


Ilanah R. Thanatos
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Message edited by Ilanah_Thanatos - Tuesday, 11 Jan 2011, 8:11 PM
 
KalThanatosDate: Tuesday, 11 Jan 2011, 8:13 PM | Message # 12
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Kal watched her as she expressed her love for him, that she had realized when he was away. His eyes fell as he looked down at the ground. He could feel the emotion within her. That was what made him realize that what he had gone through was all for a reason. He felt that if he hadn't gone through with this, she wouldn't have realized just how she felt. Knowing that she did love him made him feel better. He looked up at her, "I do need you, Lana." He would reach out and bring her into his arms. Standing there, he would ask, "What made you want me to join the Inquisitors in the first place?"

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Ilanah_ThanatosDate: Tuesday, 11 Jan 2011, 8:23 PM | Message # 13
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A sense of relief washed over her when he pulled her close again. She was able to relax, only slightly, as she dropped her head against his chest. He smelled exactly as she had remembered, and that made her happy. But then he asked her why and she tensed again. The reason wasn't important to her anymore. The fact that he had survived it and come back, and not killed her for it, was what was important now.

"It was selfish....I wanted to have you close...that was the only way I could think of without having to leave Coruscant. Heh. Not a very well thought out plan on my part. You should have told me it was a stupid idea." She smiled a little as she looked up at the man. Idly, she reached up and rested her left hand on his cheek, then traced her thumb lightly over his jaw line and then his lips before she let out a low sigh. The cool metal of the ring on her left finger would brush lightly against his warm skin also.


Ilanah R. Thanatos
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KalThanatosDate: Tuesday, 11 Jan 2011, 8:31 PM | Message # 14
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Kal could feel the ring on the side of his face. A slight smile came to his face, then slowly disappeared. He had felt her tense up at his question. It was an unusual reaction. He took in a deep breath, trying to calm his mind. He nodded slowly, "If I would have known, I would have told you it was a stupid idea. However, there is more your not telling me, Lana...isn't there" For some odd reason he got an odd feeling about this. It seemed as if there was something that she was trying to keep from him. He waited to hear her response, hoping that his suspicions were right.

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Ilanah_ThanatosDate: Tuesday, 11 Jan 2011, 8:40 PM | Message # 15
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She dropped her hand from the side of his face and pulled away from him. Ilanah trailed lithe fingertips through her light blonde hair for a moment before she stopped at the doorway to the balcony. "I told you before....It would help me to know what they are doing." she said as she looked at the nearly faded sunset. She wasn't sure how much he had changed or how easy it would be for her to bring him back. Her tension was just nerves about the whole situation.

"None of that matters right now, does it?" Ilanah said as she turned back to face him, leaving the sunset and the balcony behind her. "All that matters to me is that you're alive and here." She offered a small smile. Her thoughts turned first to Adoven, who was who knows where recruiting, and Tremaine, who was still on Coruscant working. The thought occurred to her right then that she just needed to be honest with him, even if it killed her.

"You're the only person I trust, Kal. I need a guardian. I am afraid of what is happening in this Galaxy." A moment later she would add. "There are those out there that want to stop it...."


Ilanah R. Thanatos
Senator of Chandrila


Message edited by Ilanah_Thanatos - Tuesday, 11 Jan 2011, 8:54 PM
 
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